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When You Aren't Enough






The giving of thanks day is over and more celebrations are on the way. Christmas season! But life doesn't stop. For Christmas season or for any other reason.


My spouse recently had a hospital stay. After many months of health issues remaining in check, the train sort of left the tracks late one night and we both felt EMT's were needed. Within minutes, he was on a gurney and being transported.


I have strong faith. I am healthy. I have an active meditation and prayer life. I practice yoga, almost daily. I know how to stay balanced. And I was terrified. And I couldn't quiet myself. The lights flashed down our darkened drive as the squad escorted my husband to the ER, and I stood at the door feeling anxious and afraid. Would he be okay? Would they be able to stabilize him? Would he be admitted?


I forgot to hit my knees or open my arms in prayer. My years of recovery felt short-circuited for those moments. My heart pounded. But as recovery would have it, I did remember to do the next right thing. Sometimes we just need humans. I needed human contact to balance me before I followed the squad. I texted and called family and friends. I was calmed by the sound of their voices and soothed by their words of support. As the days scooted by and my husband continued to improve, I remained so deeply appreciative of just plain old human kindness.


People who hold our hand, who listen without hurrying, who weigh in with their strength when we're unable to feel our own, are our most valuable gift. No matter the season, we are each part of life's tapestry and as we weave compassion, empathy and presence into our days, the world will offer an even deeper look at all that is good and important.


If this season brings hours or days when your personal wellness tools feel dull and distant, when scripture, 12 Steps,meditation, prayer, yoga, journal writing, or exercising all seem to fall short, please make sure you have your go-to people to lean on. It's not codependency. It's the art of putting hearts out there, on the line, asking for what we need. Being vulnerable, recognizing when you need help balancing your hours or days is the yellow brick road where you learn to sharpen your own empathy skills. And maybe this season will present you with a chance to help balance someone else's world through word or deed.


The season of good is upon us. Stores and shopping cannot hold us up when we feel fed-up, frail, frightened or foolish. The divine spark in each of us can light up the world's shadowy places if we continue to believe in the goodness of one another. I wish for you the deep gift of human caring as we celebrate love and kindness as the reason for the season.